jessica valenti

Scroll to Info & Navigation

Men want what they want.

So much of our culture caters to giving men what they want. A high school student invites model Kate Upton to attend his prom, and he’s congratulated for his audacity. A male fan at a Beyoncé concert reaches up to the stage to slap her ass because her ass is there, her ass is magnificent, and he wants to feel it. The science fiction fandom community is once again having a heated discussion, across the Internet, about the ongoing problem of sexual harassment at conventions — countless women are telling all manner of stories about how, without their consent, they are groped, ogled, lured into hotel rooms under false pretenses, physically lifted off the ground, and more.

But men want what they want. We should all lighten up.

It’s hard not to feel humorless as a woman and a feminist, to recognize misogyny in so many forms, some great and some small, and know you’re not imagining things. It’s hard to be told to lighten up because if you lighten up any more, you’re going to float the fuck away. The problem is not that one of these things is happening, it’s that they are all happening, concurrently and constantly.

These are just songs. They are just jokes. They are just movies. It’s just a hug. They’re just breasts. Smile, you’re beautiful. Can’t a man pay you a compliment? In truth, this is all a symptom of a much more virulent cultural sickness — one where women exist to satisfy the whims of men, one where a woman’s worth is consistently diminished or entirely ignored.

What Men Want, America Delivers - from the inimitable Roxane Gay


  1. brooke-vass reblogged this from illuminatedh0pe
  2. illuminatedh0pe reblogged this from queenofthenorthhasmoved
  3. willowsansa reblogged this from jello-homicide
  4. queenofthenorthhasmoved reblogged this from florenceandthepoutine
  5. prettycoldhearted reblogged this from bookoisseur
  6. iseulttoinjury reblogged this from judyjudybobooty
  7. thelivelongyear reblogged this from feministquotes
  8. madeleinewillbebackshortly reblogged this from arsevenger
  9. blackegyptians reblogged this from arsevenger
  10. princessofthedeadsheep reblogged this from melancholicmarionette
  11. shove-it-to-the-mantle reblogged this from ozziescribbler
  12. unearthlycannibals reblogged this from alltheotherkids
  13. alltheotherkids reblogged this from absentions
  14. sofvonpace reblogged this from arsevenger
  15. wardnpendragn reblogged this from face--the--strange
  16. spanthedistance reblogged this from face--the--strange
  17. face--the--strange reblogged this from face--the--strange
  18. fatzorro reblogged this from royalfood
  19. royalfood reblogged this from brodiesangsters-archive
  20. pomelocm reblogged this from pomelocm
  21. live-for-solitudeandlove reblogged this from et-ultra-ad-insaniam
  22. et-ultra-ad-insaniam reblogged this from achildofthefandoms
  23. olvib reblogged this from pvbertyblues
  24. singinginhersong reblogged this from wildeaboutoscar
  25. thisisfortherandom reblogged this from goodluck-godspeed
  26. peanutbutterandkellie reblogged this from scalene-isosceles
  27. scalene-isosceles reblogged this from absentions
  28. morningsatmywindow reblogged this from marilynw